Regrets Series: Tired Of Waiting
by My one true love
Summary: They've spent years trying to avoid temptation, trying to stop loving one another but they no longer can. But what if Rachel wants more than Puck can give her? Fourth in series.


**_Hello all! Another oneshot for your reading pleasure. This is the fourth oneshot in a series, but you don't have to read the others to read this one. But if you're interested please check out the other three: _**_The Best Part of Me, Easy To Pretend **& **Hard To Be Faithful. **This story was inspired by the song **'Need You Now' **by Lady Antebellum. I own neither the song or anything that has to do with Glee. Please read and review. There is one more oneshot in this series and I'm quite proud of this one and the last one. Thanks!**_

_**

* * *

**_

Rachel sighed as she glanced at the clock. It was almost midnight and she knew that at any minute his phone could ring. It would ring and it would be her, asking him when he was coming home and then he'd leave her again.

She always hoped for the day that he wouldn't leave – that he'd chose her, but it never happened. She glanced over to where Puck lay asleep, wiped out from their time spent together. Just looking at him made her chest tighten. She loved him so much that it hurt and he wasn't hers to have.

They hadn't been together since they were eighteen when he'd destroyed her, broken her heart. Due to circumstances that had nearly destroyed both of them they'd both ended up staying in Lima instead of going off to school, but instead of getting back together (which was what she had hoped for) she had begun dating Finn. Finn had appreciated her and wanted only what was best for her. She'd grown to care for him, although she had never loved him like she'd known that she should.

Years later Puck had come to her and announced that he loved her. She'd been so shocked that she hadn't known what to do but lash out at him. She hadn't talked to him for a year after that, not even to congradulate him on his marriage to Quinn (not that she was happy for him, but it would have been the thing to do) or when she had married Finn. Eventually she had caved when she began having problems with Finn and called Puck. They had talked about their marriages and the problems that they were having. She'd told him in a moment of weakness that she loved him and he'd turned her down flat, telling her that he chose Quinn and their unborn child over her.

It had hurt, torn at her for months and it had been the last straw in causing her marriage to fall apart. Finn couldn't understand her depression, her anger so he'd told her that she either needed to pull it together or they were over. She'd laughed in her face (which she realized now had not been a graet idea) and they had divorced shortly after.

That had been two years ago and about a year ago she and Puck had begun their affair. It had began as a one night thing when they'd both had too much to drink but they'd realized that once wasn't enough for them. They met two to three times a week, always at her place and what he told Quinn she never knew, never asked. But it never failed that when she called he went running.

Rachel ran her hand down his bare back causing him to stir. He turned over and looked at her, that annoyingly hot smirk on his lips. "You back for thirds, babe?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Right, that's exactly it."

"Or what, you can't keep your hands off of me?"

She laughed, she just couldn't help it. "You're absolutely correct. I really can't." Her hand slid down his back and under the sheet until she ran her hand over his firm bottom.

Puck rolled over, pulling her on top of him. "Well I will be happy to oblige." His own hand slid down her body to grasp her butt, pulling her against his growing erection as their lips met. His hands teased her body as they barely touched her, brushing up and down the skin. His touch was sending shivers throughout her body.

The sudden ringing of his phone caused them both to jump and Puck quickly sat up which caused Rachel to fall off of him. He grabbed the phone and after glancing at the caller ID flipped it open. "Hey babe."

Rachel sighed. She didn't want him to leave, but did she dare ask him to stay, to ask him to choose her? Did she have the right when he had a wife and baby boy at home waiting for him? She didn't know, but she knew that every time he left her the hole in her heart grew bigger and she didn't know how much more she could take.

"Yeah hon, I'll head home in just a few minutes. Just let me finish up this drink and then I'll head home. Love you too." Puck flipped his phone shut and looked down at it for a moment.

Rachel closed her eyes as she fought back tears as she turned away, refusing to look at him. Her shoulders hunched over as she awaited the words that she knew would come. She knew they would come because they always came and they hurt each and every time. It didn't matter how many times she heard them, they still hurt.

"Rach, I've gotta go." The mattress shifted under Puck's weight as he turned towards her. "Quinn's waiting."

The tears began to slip down her face. She just couldn't keep them held in any longer. Her heart felt like it was being ripped out of her chest. She didn't understand how it could hurt more each time her left her. Shouldn't she be numb by now? God how she wished she could just feel nothing, just not care.

"Babe – " Puck started to speak as he reached out his hand to try and touch her shoulder, but stopped short when she jerked away.

"Stay." She hadn't meant for it to spill out, but there it was. It was what she had been thinking and now he knew how she felt. But did she dare face him now that she had spoken it out loud?

She heard him sigh behind her, a deep unhappy sound. Rachel spun around to face him and cut off whatever it was that he was about to say. "Don't leave me, Noah. I don't think that I can stand it if you left me again." She shook her head as she tried to brush the tears away but to no avail. "She will never love you like I do. Why can't you see that?"

Puck's face shut down as she watched. His face was a stone mask showing no emotion. They didn't talk about Quinn or Logan, it had been a rule since they had started their affair and she'd broken it. It was like he was no longer there.

"Noah, I'm begging you. Don't leave me. I'm so lonely without you." She jumped up, disregarding the fact that she was completely naked. "You've told me time and time again that one day we'll be together, but when Noah? When? When you and Quinn have nothing to say to one another? When you begin to hate one another like Finn and I did? When Logan begins to hate you both because he knows that his parents don't love one another?" She threw up her hands in despair.

She held up her hand when Puck began to speak. She knew that he didn't understand, but how could she get him to? She didn't want to be there waiting for him for the rest of their lives. She _couldn't_ wait for him for the rest of their lives. But she didn't want to give up. Why should she have to? He obviously didn't want to give her up because he kept coming back.

The sadness began to drain from her, instead being replaced by anger. Why did he expect her to wait? Well that was simple – because she _let_ him expect it of her. If she wanted things to change then she had to demand the change. No more being complaciant. She was a strong woman and she deserved so much better than what he was giving her. She was better than that and now it was time for her to start acting like it.

"This is it. It's time for you to make a choice. Damn it, I'm better than this – _you're _better than this. I've given you everything, every part of me while you hold back. You can't keep giving me and Quinn half yourself. This isn't fair to any of us." She stared into eyes that revealed nothing. What was he thinking? "I love you Noah, but I will not be your dirty little secret anymore."

Rachel took a deep breath. She'd said what she wanted, no what she needed to say. She could barely breathe, so unsure of what he would say, of what he would do. She knew that he loved her just as she loved him. But would he choose her?

When he shifted on the bed and opened his mouth she held her breathe, waiting.

But instead of speaking he just shook his head, refusing to look her in the eye as he slid out of the bed (her bed – the bed that they'd just made love in) and began pulling his clothes on.

Rachel felt like the wind had been knocked out of her as he crossed the room, grabbing his jacket before heading towards the door. His hand had just touched the doorknob when she called out to him, "Noah…" She knew that he could hear the tears in her voice, but she couldn't just let him walk away?

Puck paused for a moment, his shoulders stiffening. She thought for just a moment that he'd turn around and take her into his arms, telling her that he loved her and only her. But after the slight pause he just walked out the door without a word or a glance over his shoulder.

When the door shut, although closed with care so as to not make too much noise the sound vibrated through her and she felt everything in her crumble. She stumbled back until she hit the wall and slowly she slid down it as the sobs wracked her body.


End file.
